Stage Fear

Being born in an upper middle class family, studying in one of the best schools in the country along with students
from well off families and then moving onto nations most reputed university . This was my life up till 2015. I
believed that I  had everything in the world and nothing could stop me.

But college had different plans for me.I gave my first college society interview  and managed to clear the
GD Round, but to my surprise I was rejected in the personal interview. I was taken aback.I realized students
from small cities and less privileged background were much more talented than me. I had been good in academics
throughout my life , but so were these students . Except the 95 % on my mark sheet I had nothing to boast about.
Nothing distinguished me the pool of others sitting next to me.During school I had a stage fear,so  I would never
step up on the stage but would be an active participant in the backstage activities. On the day of Scholar Badge
ceremony, my legs would shake while climbing the stairs of stage.Till college I had accepted this fact, But I did
nothing to tackle it. When asked about my greatest weakness I'd say stage fear without realizing its effect on the
interviewer. Thanks to my first Society interview rejection,I realised it was the reason. However, I restrained myself
from mentioning it  in the next interview and managed to get selected. Everything was going fine until one day I
had to go looking for sponsors for my college fest. I realised I could not speak to strangers on the phone and
would stumble on words. Because of my poor performance in finding collaborations i was insulted in front of 60
members, It was so disheartening that I ended up quitting the society.

I kept running away from everything. I almost forgot myself as the  girl who thought nothing could stop her.
I would spend most of my day scrolling my phone and apparently doing nothing, My parents got sick of me trying
to push me to do something.

One day my house maid was ill so she sent her daughter for work.Apparently she was only 12 and would help
her mother after school hours. That day, I felt ashamed. This little girl had nothing still she had hope. I on the
other hand had everything - resources, opportunities, and parental support. I decided I would not sit back and
 I would fight back. Generally I would skip any internal that involved presentations or public speaking. But not
this time, I prepared for my presentation for one full week, standing in front of the mirror repeating the entire
matter numerous times. On the day of the presentation. As I went up on the stage and saw nearly 150 students
sitting in front of me, I blanked out. Shivering, I took out the paper from my pocket and read the entire matter
without making any eye contact with the audience. But at least I stood in front of so many people and said
something, that was my progress. Over the time, I started participating in more and more activities. I started
going to college regularly and made a lot  new friends. Volunteering for numerous events in college I
learnt the art of managing time and people efficiently.Last week I even co-anchored one event in my residential
place.Today I don't know whether I'm an excellent orator or not but definitely i don't fear the stage.In my free
time Id call my maids daughter and help her with her studies. No other activity gives me as much joy as this.
The feeling that i'm able to give something of value to her is beautiful.